Caring and Feeding of Katie
Aug. 4th, 1987 12:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katieastropheLast updated: Aug 2018
1. How can I tell if you're angry?
I rant. Long sentences, fuming, lots of capital letters, you get the idea. I get quite animated, both in person and online.
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
Option 1: explain that you don’t have the capacity/spoons for angryKatie, and that you need space.
Option 2: listen to me rant, offer hugs, and (if you have them) solutions to the actual problem. If you don't know what to say, that's fine: just listening will work too. Silence is OK, truly; I'd rather that than nervous rambling.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
Don't say "I'm sorry" unless you're the reason I'm upset, and even then only if you're actually sorry. Also, don't expect me to say "it's okay" because that's what humans do. I won't, unless it is. Maybe offer hugs (and - whilst affection is like oxygen to me - don't be offended if I say no, or not right now.)
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
No. As long as you listen to my opinions and argue fairly, I respect your right to disagree with me. That's what makes the world interesting. (Unless you're a homophobe, sexist, racist, fascist, or bigoted in some other way, in which case you should probably just not talk to me at all.)
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
I very rarely get really properly ill, but I'm often run down with low energy, and I get debilitating headaches and joint pain reasonably often. I also have ADHD, which isn't an illness as such but definitely if I'm trying to concentrate on anything late at night after meds have worn off, I can be a little grouchy - treat with caution! Similarly, I am autistic, and not always good at peopling.
(Related: I have asthma, for which I take a small collection of different kinds of inhaler, and avoid cigarette smoke and aerosols. I also have a latex allergy.)
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
Good coffee, time to sit down and read, cuddles, nice food, affection.
7. How would you like us to recognise your birthday?
Have a wishlist link, I guess? (My birthday is August 4th.)
8. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
Appropriate: coffee (especially nutty and chocolatey blends), Amazon and Lush giftcards, rolls of 35mm and 120mm film, cat-safe flowers (alstroemerias and sunflowers are a good bet).
Unwelcome: anything not on my wishlist, or listed above? I keep trying to avoid hoarding things…
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
March 1st is the anniversary of my stepfather's death and September 27th was his birthday; I also dislike the fuss made around father's day for obvious reasons.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
Other than the ones mentioned in the previous question, nope.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
Fruit, vegetables, eggs, pasta, potatoes, grains. Soya milk, diet soda, coffee. I'm vegetarian, though I will eat things with gelatin and rennet in them, and don't mind if my food is cooked in the same pan as meat. I try to eat as healthily as I can. I hate mushrooms, and am mildly allergic to pineapples.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
My offline contact details are filtered here.
1. How can I tell if you're angry?
I rant. Long sentences, fuming, lots of capital letters, you get the idea. I get quite animated, both in person and online.
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
Option 1: explain that you don’t have the capacity/spoons for angryKatie, and that you need space.
Option 2: listen to me rant, offer hugs, and (if you have them) solutions to the actual problem. If you don't know what to say, that's fine: just listening will work too. Silence is OK, truly; I'd rather that than nervous rambling.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
Don't say "I'm sorry" unless you're the reason I'm upset, and even then only if you're actually sorry. Also, don't expect me to say "it's okay" because that's what humans do. I won't, unless it is. Maybe offer hugs (and - whilst affection is like oxygen to me - don't be offended if I say no, or not right now.)
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
No. As long as you listen to my opinions and argue fairly, I respect your right to disagree with me. That's what makes the world interesting. (Unless you're a homophobe, sexist, racist, fascist, or bigoted in some other way, in which case you should probably just not talk to me at all.)
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
I very rarely get really properly ill, but I'm often run down with low energy, and I get debilitating headaches and joint pain reasonably often. I also have ADHD, which isn't an illness as such but definitely if I'm trying to concentrate on anything late at night after meds have worn off, I can be a little grouchy - treat with caution! Similarly, I am autistic, and not always good at peopling.
(Related: I have asthma, for which I take a small collection of different kinds of inhaler, and avoid cigarette smoke and aerosols. I also have a latex allergy.)
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
Good coffee, time to sit down and read, cuddles, nice food, affection.
7. How would you like us to recognise your birthday?
Have a wishlist link, I guess? (My birthday is August 4th.)
8. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
Appropriate: coffee (especially nutty and chocolatey blends), Amazon and Lush giftcards, rolls of 35mm and 120mm film, cat-safe flowers (alstroemerias and sunflowers are a good bet).
Unwelcome: anything not on my wishlist, or listed above? I keep trying to avoid hoarding things…
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
March 1st is the anniversary of my stepfather's death and September 27th was his birthday; I also dislike the fuss made around father's day for obvious reasons.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
Other than the ones mentioned in the previous question, nope.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
Fruit, vegetables, eggs, pasta, potatoes, grains. Soya milk, diet soda, coffee. I'm vegetarian, though I will eat things with gelatin and rennet in them, and don't mind if my food is cooked in the same pan as meat. I try to eat as healthily as I can. I hate mushrooms, and am mildly allergic to pineapples.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
My offline contact details are filtered here.
